photo credit: Smabs Sputzer
In medieval times, a bard was a professional poet who would create rhymes for his wealthy patron. Typically, the bard would be employed in order to crank out odes about the sheer awesomeness of his boss. Over time, the term “bard” lost its unique meaning, and it came to generically refer to any poet of great repute. Thus, Will Shakespeare was known as “the Bard.”
Now, I don’t have to tell you that yours truly (aka “the Yank”) doesn’t stack up very well against Bill Shakespeare (aka “the Bard of Bards”) when it comes to laying down lyrical lines. Then again, no one really compares to Bill, who has been delighting readers and theatre fans for several centuries. I bet Shakespeare has influenced the English language more than anyone else.
Do you disagree? Well, for the rest of this post, I will slip in some of his most famous words (denoted by quotation marks), and you can judge for yourself whether anyone has ever used language as well as Will did over 400 years ago. In my “heart of hearts”, I know attempting to locate a better poet would be harder than extracting a “pound of flesh”, but “try if you like.”
Now, even though my “flaming youth” (um, wait, maybe not “flaming”) and lack of skill prevents me from crafting poetry on par with the real Bard, I will still assume that title for the purpose of crafting 100 posts on the best soccer players ever. Since “all the world’s a stage”, I will be placing these poetic posts on three different sites, including this one. The other two?
Well, if you “lend me your ears”, I will tell you that the other two places these posts will appear are www.serieaticketsonline.com and www.laligaticketsonline.com. Now, I know what you are thinking, this series sounds like it will place you on a “wild goose chase”. You think this series was organized with “neither rhyme nor reason”. Well, I say there is “method in the madness”.
What method is that? Well, in order to rank my legends from 100 to 1, I took just about everything humanly possible into account. By that, I mean I analyzed every single aspect of the career and legacy of every single soccer great who lived over the last 100 years. Still wondering what my criteria for coming up with this list was? Hmm, I guess I could reveal to you my recipe.
First, I looked at each player’s individual statistics and honors. Now, I think many of you will think I placed more emphasis on individual accomplishments than those of a player’s club and country, and I must admit that many great players on mediocre teams are probably ranked higher than those on superstar squads simply because they were “the Man” instead of just one cog.
But, individual stats are really the most telling when it comes to picking between players, so they were weighted very, very heavily. However, I also factored in whether the player helped his pro and national teams succeed on the biggest stages. Finally, I gave some special players who invented new and influential styles of play some additional points for leaving a lasting legacy.
Oh yeah, and before you become a “green-eyed monster” because I put in some obscure guy over your personal favorite, remember that I did try and spread the love around to some folks from different nations. After all, I think it is more impressive to be the best Mexican player ever than the 100th best Brazilian, even though that Brazilian has likely won more World Cup titles.
What can you expect to find when you return to read my series? Well, I will begin each post by telling you about “The Pick”, the feats of the man who made my top 100. Next, I will enjoy a little diversion with “The Flick”, a few sentences about what actor should play the legend in his fictional bio-pic. Finally, I will provide you with “the Limerick”, my ode to the soccer star.
Now, “the Limerick” is when I must put forth meters of poetry, and this is where I will truly bask in the glow of being the Bard. Now, Bill wrote sonnets, not limericks, but I have neither the time nor desire to write 14 lines on each legend. A limerick, on the other hand, has only five lines and follows a strict form (rhyming AABBA), and is more humorous (and obscene) than a sonnet.
So, it is perfect for the poetry of yours truly. After all, if you have read my previous poems in honor of the world’s hottest WAGs, you know I am one very bawdy Bard. Over the next 52 weeks, I will be pushing my poetry on you, and if you read every single one of these posts, you will certainly have more knowledge about the best soccer players in history than ever before.
Some of you will likely be disappointed that I did not include your favorite legend. You may also see someone I selected as undeserving. Well, I say to you that “what’s done is done”, and if you don’t like it you should “get thee to a nunnery”. If you are offended by my picks though, let me hear about it in the comments. Just don’t stab me in the back or I will exclaim “et tu, Brute”.
After all, I didn’t set out to intentionally omit anyone, and the task I have undertaken is a truly difficult one. If you do decide to unleash “the dogs of war”, please at least back up your argument with some statistical support. “In my mind’s eye”, I could not come up with a better list, but maybe together we can prevent any star player from suffering “the unkindest cut of all.”
So, I say unto you, “be afraid not of greatness”. Return to PLTO, SATO, and LLTO on (almost) every Wednesday to listen to limericks about the world’s most legendary soccer stars. There will be much “pomp and circumstance”, so be sure to return “tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow”. After all, Bill said “if music be the food of love, play on”. Please plan on doing so.
“To be, or not to be” is not the question “at the heart” of this series; rather, the query at issue is who were the 100 best soccer players ever. From now until the end of this year (even through the “winter of our discontent”), I will be telling you who those 100 players are. Sure, “all that glistens is not gold”, but each of these lads was priceless on the pitch. So, please enjoy my posts.
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