The Beauty: OK, let me admit my bias up front. Other than maybe Ms. Slade, Abigail Clancy is the hottest English WAG in my opinion. Now, I am not saying she is the “best”, “most talented”, or “most waggish”, just perhaps “sexiest”. I have the evidence to back it up too. Exhibit A: her career as Britain’s top lingerie model. And I rest my case. It’s that easy. Plus, she has been a reality TV star (a prerequisite it seems to be a WAG) and spent her career on the catwalk.
The Beast: Peter Crouch – if not for his soccer prowess – would not even have a one in a million chance with a girl like Abigail. He’s a gangly dude, and I usually describe his movements on the pitch as “Lurch-like”. Yet, since before the 2006 World Cup, Clancy and Crouch have been an item. Crouch has played all over the Prem but had his most success with the Reds. He is now with Spurs and he is looking to lunge into the 2010 roster debate while holding on to Clancy.
The Bard: Clancy’s beauty couldn’t be captured in a poem by Petrarch, but I will try:
When pollsters set out to dissect which English WAG best captured the public’s fancy.
It was no surprise that those who were surveyed most often voted for Miss Clancy.
Participants only confusion was to why she dates a man with a face so equine.
Most subjects even mentioned that they thought her beau was really Frankenstein.
Almost everyone agreed that Miss Clancy would be better off with someone shorter.
She could always reignite things with her ex, Jason Statham of The Transporter.
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